The 6th man. The fallback option. The guy who’s spent an almost unfathomable portion of his career in the “not great, not terrible enough to ignore” stage. Adam Sandler.

Each and every one of us has at least one person within their circle who fulfills this duty. It’s not glamorous. It comes with little glory. One may go as far as to call it “degrading.” So why do I salute this seemingly inconsequential role? Needless to say, I’m the god damn Michael Jordan of this role.

We live in a society. Busy busy busy. And we like to think we have as many options as the hot girl with “swipe left if you don’t like The Office 💁🏻‍♀️” in her Tinder bio (god bless you, you unicorn).

But even the most beloved among us (so I’m told) often fall short of this utopia. Even in this golden age of sociability, finding other friends willing to commit to plans with you can sometimes be downright daunting. But I’m not most other friends. 

Spontaneous Monday eveningHappy Hour after work/school? Give me a half hour. 

Need a 5th for pickup hoops since one of your real friends is out of town? I didn’t drop half a paycheck on these Kawhi New Balances just for the babes.

Saturday night plans with your other homies fell through? This How I Met Your Mother rerun can wait (see we’re really just like Ted, and will totally find love once we can just show what hopeless romantics we are). 

Sure, we could go the more glamorous route. The average amongst us last-resort-friends may declare that they’re above this reserve role, that their dignity demands they be granted greater respect (see: Matthew Dellavedova to the Bucks). The legends amongst us however, see it as a calling. Yeah, we could be the charismatic, funniest, most beloved guy in the room with more women to choose from than John Mayer at a suburban liberal arts college. We choose against it. It’s an evil world we live in. And we all need that one person who’s there to answer the call. 

So we salute you (me), the last resort friend, and your consistent tolerability. May your presence continue to be minimally necessary, but never in doubt.