I can’t stress this enough, I don’t work hard at all. My life is revolved around how many podcasts I can fit into my day. I am one bachelors degree away from being the most useless person in most rooms across America.
BUT…. at least I admit this fact.
I feel like I do a pretty good job of conveying my sense of uselessness and insignificance in all aspects of life. Whether it’s IRL or on Twitter, I am the same dead being.
With that being said, there are others out there trying so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so hard to convince the general population that they WORK so HARD for EVERYTHING they’ve EARNED. We all know these folk. You might have one in your life right now.
I like to call these people “I work hard” Twitter.
A member of “I work hard” Twitter’s main focus is showcasing their ability to work hard/their disdain for hive minded sheeple. Picture “I work hard” Twitter as the group of zombies in I Am Legend that all vibe together in that dark room but just add in the zombies saying “dropshipping is the next revolution” or “your parents really paid for your school???”
“I work hard” Twitter has different sub-sections, some of which include:
- “Entrepreneurs” who made $2300 one summer selling socks online using Gary Vaynerchuk’s life bible.
- Finance majors
- My fan favorite: Accounts that just retweet those pictures of modern housing
- OR accounts that retweet captioned stock pics
That last tweet from “Billionaire Mindset” got 3,200 retweets and 9,000 favorites and isn’t remotely close to capturing the mindset of a literal billionaire. This makes me believe that the people who follow these types of accounts aren’t actually interested in being billionaires, but instead are interested in spamming my timeline with Christain Grey choke sex GIFs captioned “let’s do this on the weekend.”
I will be the first one to admit, “I work hard” Twitter owns a significant chunk of real estate in my head. They live rent free on my frontal lobe in one of those modern townhomes where they just lay in bed with their hot girlfriend.
The reason they own this portion of my completely average brain isn’t because they worked hard for it, but instead because they THINK they worked hard for it. It is terribly hard to convince an “I work hard” Twitter member that just because they spent 12 hours watching Tai Lopez Youtube videos, doesn’t mean that they worked harder than the kid getting their bachelors degree/working a job.
These “I work hard” Twitter members label anyone (like myself) that questions their work ethic/goals/actual abilities as “haters”.
Similar to climate change deniers; people who label other people as “haters” because they question their lofty beliefs are inevitably headed towards getting multiple DUI’s.
Lastly, “I work hard” Twitter will be the first in line to check your money making privilege at the door whenever you post something celebratory. Just posted about how you got a new job? Expect Zack, a 23 year old crypto-guru who sold his Bitcoin at $3600, to comment “LMAO automation is coming for that sector bro. #Business #Mindset #Elevation #Growth”
Want to post about how you got a new car? Wait for Ashley, a proud GED recipient and full-time hustler, to say “Look at what daddy’s money gets you.”
Want to share anything remotely positive that has impacted your life? Sorry, you must deal with the scorching hot opinions of entrepreneurial LIONS, you listless SHEEP!
I hated writing this article because I don’t want to be responsible for giving these people a near 1,000 views platform to live on. Nevertheless, Henlo Lizard must be the beacon of hope in this dark world we live in. We must work together to fight the fight on a daily basis.
Ultimately, WE are responsible for calling out these fake work warriors and putting them back in their place (at a Cutco knives interview).
Henlo Lizard 