Little Known Fact: Similar to early Brockhampton, all six Henlo Lizard bloggers live under one roof. Life is tough sometimes, which is why we always stick to a budget when planning out our monthly expenses. Below are the expected expenses for the Henlo Lizard house in the month of November.

*Income is pooled among all six writers based on a cult-like system*

Income:

• $3750/month ($500 from hourly work…$750 in tips….$2500 from plasma donations)

Expenses:

IPA’s ($1250)

Instead of drinking regular tap water, Henlo Lizard staff members are required to drink hoppy IPA’s. Even though this is takes up the bulk of our monthly expenses, it remains important to the staff that we are all sufficiently dehydrated enough to deliriously shit out content.

Toilet Bowl Cleaner ($100)

Since our piss is dirt brown, we end up spending close to $100 a month on toilet bowl cleaner. The acidity from the urine has actually carved a dent into the porcelain, creating a vortex of salty broth whenever one of us pees. No, we don’t think the IPA only diet has anything to do with this.

Rent ($950)

Henlo Lizard rents out a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment for $950 every month. We all sleep together in the bunk beds featured above. No one gets to the top without a hug from the person on the bunk below 🙂

Landlord Tip ($190)

We tip our landlord 20% every month. He does a lot for us like send us texts saying “Monthly Reminder: Rent is due”. What would we do without him?

Amazon Echo Dots ($180)

Every Henlo writer is required on a monthly basis to spend 24 consecutive hours in an isolated room staring at a ceiling fan while listening to Frank Ocean’s newest release through an Amazon Echo Dot. At the completion of the 24 hours, the writer must then demolish the Amazon Echo Dot with their bare hands.

Red Baron Four Cheese Pizzas ($333)

Four cheese pizza is the house special in the Henlo House. Our constant constipation is imperative to work efficiency. We can’t afford to spend time on our acid-piss toilet because content never stops. Red Baron provides these at $3.33 a piece giving us plenty of room every month to afford around 100 pizzas.

Content Research ($747)

In order for us to be on top of our game, Henlo Lizard has to spend close to $750 on R&D every month. This involves close to 20+ OnlyFans subscriptions, one sponsored Twitter Bot, and three paid follows to tweet deck accounts. We find that you must spend money to make money (Henlo Lizard has not turned a profit for 8 consecutive quarters).

As you can see, our budget is perfectly balanced at the end of the month. Tell us how we did in comparison to yours.