At Henlo Lizard, we are not a hive-mind and our contributors have differing opinions that we are able to respect. There is however, one topic that we are all in support of: sex workers. 

As stated in our approved November budget, we here at Henlo Lizard are collectively subscribed to 20+ OnlyFans. However, I think that we could set aside some more of our budget in support of these young female entrepreneurs by asking ourselves an important question. 

“Do we really even need to eat?”

Sustenance has been around since the dawn of man.

OnlyFans has only been around for like four months. Yet one is becoming a clear frontrunner for financial support at the Henlo camp.

Let’s start thinking about how many meals are actually necessary. If you actually eat breakfast, you’re either over the age of 65 or under the age of 16. Lunch can be replaced easily by crying in your car and screaming into the void instead of eating at work or in between classes. Realistically, you only really need to eat dinner and only for the reason of not letting your hunger get in the way of allowing you to sleep and not have to experience being awake in this purgatorial world. 

Going off only needing to only eat one meal a day, let’s try to cut costs there wherever we can. The easiest solution to save money on food (to use on a new subscription to @isellfeetpicsandalsoart OnlyFans) is to not eat your own food. 

I live close by to my grandmother, who also happens to have a memory that is rapidly deteriorating. Every night for dinner, I go to her house and take her plate of food without her seeing and she assumes she hasn’t made dinner yet and makes another plate. I get free food and I can technically say I visit my grandma with Alzheimer’s everyday to girls I meet at the bar. Everyone wins. 

You could also save money (for @xxgivememymoneyyousadloserxx OnlyFans) but cutting down on money spent on fast food. That $5.29 you spend on a beef quesarito and Baja blast that one time at Taco Bell could be put towards a $4.99 OnlyFans subscription that lasts a month. With that $4.99, you will also be able to share the OnlyFans with, for example, your 5 friends that run a blog with you as a means of something that keeps us together despite us not living anywhere near each other anymore. From a utilitarian standpoint, that’s just the most efficient option. 

Are you pro-women to the point where you’ll die for the cause?

I’m not saying that you should eat less in order to pay for more OnlyFans subscriptions, but if you don’t, you hate women.