It’s been a while since we’ve made a post here at Henlo Lizard. Months of silence from us and I’m sure our loyal fans are wondering what happened to us. I’m making this post to give a quick update and let everyone know where we all are at in life. 

Brandon

I recently saw a movie that spoke to me and inspired me to make major life changes, Midsommar. Sure, some people may call what they had a “cult” but I think of it more as a friendly living community with a strong focus on unity. I wasn’t doing anything and thought “why not?” and found a local living community to join and I’m having the time of my life! The best part is that there are no more HOA letters coming to my house about having to mow my lawn. If you send another one of those to me Mary, I will run over your fucking mailbox! 

Duggan

I would say he’s currently doing the best out of us all right now. Although that doesn’t mean he’s mentally stable, he’s extending his college years out by attending law school at the University of Alabama. Going to trivia nights and karaoke at bars on a weekly basis, he seems to be really enjoying it. Just the other day he was excited to send the group a picture of his fifth Black Cherry Whiteclaw of the night. Good for him.

Drew

I’m sad to announce that Drew’s whereabouts are actually unknown at the moment. Drew has been struggling with a crippling OnlyFans addiction for a while now, and we feared that loan sharks might’ve gotten to him. However, I do have strong reason to believe he is alive and in hiding. Recently in a game of Rocket League, a man by the name of “hornyman850to817” joined my lobby and started saying things like “Tell my family I miss them” and “They fucking got Abby man, I tried to go to her funeral” and “Can you please pass me the goddamn ball already?”

James

We also haven’t heard from James in a while either. Actually, I was asked by a government official who wished to remain anonymous that if anyone has any information about James to contact him immediately and do not try to engage him. Weird.

Tebo

He is actually doing well also! He recently took a much deserved vacation and used it to see family and friends. I hope Tebo had a great time back in his hometown. He has since returned to Nashville, where he and Duggan actually spent a weekend together before his vacation was over. Absolute traitors!

Kam

Rest in Peace.